Steve,
I would really like to be able to study this more, but I got inspiration for a new project and I am already falling behind on my posts.
So I’ll try to keep this short but still helpful.
First of all, I’d like to address the character Midge. What the story tells about his character is that he is addicted to fizzy drink, is a bit mopey, sad, and clever (at times).
Now let’s go down down a rabbit trail to study what makes a good story good. What I’d like to point out here is that one of the key things that causes an audience to want more and more of a certain series of stories is characterization. The characters that do this (put in a very simple, unjust way) is by reacting to certain situations in attractive ways.
Now, back to Midge. How does Midge react to the situations he faces? Study it (wish I could take the time to myself). Are these reaction types attractive? Look at your favorite movie character of all time. Think of the way that character reacts to even the smallest things. Now, try to see how you can take the same (general) techniques and apply it to Mitch.
What poeple want out of a character is to see a different way of looking at things. For a protagonist, or even for a short movie character like Mitch, that can be cleverness… well I don’t have time to come up with a list, but…
Anyway, how do professionals come up with these characters? You can do the same thing. Craft your character after your dog, cat, spouse, best friend, etc.
So all in all, see what happens if you turn Mitch into a character who reacts to things in an original, attractive way.
Oh, one last thing before I have to go.
When Mitch pulls up the soda can tab and lifts the can up into the air - tell me what you think about this idea: instead of pushing up on the tab via wings, have him push down on it. Don’t focus on this, but allow the downward force to just start to begin bending the can over (as seen at the very end). Midge of of course doesn’t realize this, and the audience may not take note of it, until the end when the can doubles over. So now there is a bit a foreshadowing and it gives the two scenes much needed cohesion.
So finally, GREAT video!
I really enjoyed watching it and studying it to prepare for this critique. Thanks so much for making such quality storytelling!
This video is a rare find.