Hello all,
I’m pretty happy with this result so far. But now think it would be a good idea to get some constructive criticism.
My main concern is the carpet, does it look realistic enough?
It may be an obvious statement but, realism is my goal in this image.
I’ve been staring at this work for so long now that I’ve become lost in it and it’s hard to see what’s working and what isn’t. So hopefully someone can give me some much appreciated pointers.
The worn out paint on the phone’s case and the carpet looks awsome to me.
For me there are a few things I would work on :
Carpet looks great 
This is awesome. Carpet is superb. Don’t touch it. it’s what made me look closer at the image tbh. Walkman is great. I know you’ve worked hard on the buds and purely a suggestion but did you think about going old school headphones or something? Also maybe have the Walkman sit lower so it looks heavy. kind of looks like it’s floating. Minor things though and obv. my opinion but i think it’s very good work!
This is great. I think the walkman sitting on the carpet is fine, since they are usually quite light and actually do not push down much, if at all (I checked just to make sure), although the scale of the carpet looks a bit big (maybe reduce 10-20%).
If the casing is so scratched and used, I am surprised that the screen is so clean and unscratched. A bit of grunge on the screen would make it a bit more believable.
Am I the only one who looked at the title and thought he would see an old cassette player? The original walkman? I must be getting old…
could be. us y2k people have too many definitions for these things.
As for the picture, it’s mostly clear. Looking at it from a colour perspective it’s ‘pastel’ like. Compositionally it’s working. The only thing I would try different is a variation of textures on the carpet.
To my eye, at first glance, “the screen isn’t there.” I don’t see the edges. The dark shadow at the lower center part of the screen spills into the dark area below the screen, ruining the illusion of depth.
I am cuff-reacting to the shot as I see it “browser size” on my screen, without zooming in for a closer look.
There also seems to be a relative-scale problem: huge earbuds, huge plug, tiny device.
Clever texture on the rugs, creative and well executed. Yup, back in the 70’s I saw a lot of icky rugs like that.
I can tell you are talented, and the image looks realistic because of the wear and tear on the Walkman. I think the look of your image would greatly benefit from a small f-stop. This will make it look like it’s actually small. Lighting is good, love the smudges, and the carpet. You might also try zooming out slightly so you can see both earbuds.
I agree with everyone that everything is great except for the difference in clean / dirty : new / worn. Of course you can keep them like that, but it has to be explained somehow by your image. Like a plastic wrapper in the background indicating new headphones or something.
Great work! Hope to see more from you!
Hi all,
Thanks for the input, the critiques and the compliments. It’s been great for me to read and very encouraging.
Though one thing that has become apparent is the phrase “…you can’t please all of the people all of the time”, it’s quite true. Your posts have differing views on some elements.
Even so, with your observations, I have decided to try and improve certain elements.
There also seems to be a relative-scale problem: huge earbuds, huge plug, tiny device.
The device scale is good ( please bear in mind this is an old mp3 player, not a modern tablet sized smart phone. You know, it’s from the ancient times when companies tried to produce smaller devices ).
Clever texture on the rugs, creative and well executed. Yup, back in the 70’s I saw a lot of icky rugs like that.
LOL it’s a cool Grandmothers carpet indeed.
the difference in clean / dirty : new / worn. Of course you can keep them like that, but it has to be explained somehow by your image. Like a plastic wrapper in the background indicating new headphones or something.
I can understand the confusion between new and old. There needs to be a third ‘narrative device’ object within the scene. I’ll have to think about that one. It’s a lot more work.
You might also try zooming out slightly so you can see both earbuds.
Though when I consider it, the concept for the peice was as if someone had just taken a random snapshot of these objects sitting on the floor, but, I could have a play.
#Peace and thanks to everyone
