The girls here are so rude!

Argh!

Internet is probably the worst place to put this, but here it goes.

I work as a cashier at a small resturaunt/market store. Whenever a girl about my age (25), add or subtract 10 years, comes up to the cash register, I say, “Hello” in a reasonably friendly manner. “How are you?” and what not as well. And they often say nothing. Or they say “Hi” or “Fine” in a way that just seems rude. Sometimes it is easy to tell they are shy, but sometimes they just looked… well, concieted. I don’t know what they are really thinking, so there’s that.

I also have a couple of co-workers who I can’t even have conversations with. They act like I’m going to attack them at any moment, and I’ve worked with a number of girls like that, as well. They make me very uncomfortable and I feel as if they are accusing me of something (may just be me, there; would be good because that means I have a measure of control over that).

I live in the Ozarks, in the Bible Belt in the US, which is a fairly religious place. So-so. It also known as conservative. I just wonder if it’s that way everywere? I understand that there are definatly reasons to be “cautious,” or whatever word would be appropriate, but I’m beginning to feel, after spending my whole life here and not really knowing what it’s like elsewhere very well. It seems like it’s different in different places. Enough so to be noticable.

In my experiences a lot of people, certainly not all of them, grow up learning to objectify others. People grow up watching their parents have their every desire catered to by customer service agents such as waiters and cashiers.

In order to ensure the widest customer base possible a company often orders their employees to cater to even the rudest of customers, in fact many times the rudest customer gets the best discount or the most attention.

Children grow up watching people being ordered around like dogs, learning that they need only throw a temper tantrum to get the best deal. They grow to see others not as beings with feelings and needs, but as objects to be commanded. They view others as servants.

Imagine that the iPhone’s Siri asked “How are you today?” You wouldn’t feel any need to respond knowing that Siri really doesn’t care about the answer to that question, knowing that Siri isn’t going to get lonely or feel unwanted. Siri is nothing more than an object that exists only to service you.

So too do many grow to view others. They grow up and so many of the people around them do nothing more than get paid to cater to their needs. These people you speak of, they probably see you as nothing more than a servant, a device whose only purpose in that moment is to serve them. Nothing more.

The phenomenon is hardly unfounded. Research suggests that the more a person is pampered, especially during the younger years, the more they grow to view themselves as the center of the world and others as objects whose only purpose is to cater to their every whim.

Research suggests that, for instance, singling out children who score high on IQ tests as ‘special’ actually hurts their ability to function in society. Essentially it gives them a superiority complex, they begin to view themselves as superior to others, more important than others.

While I’m certainly not going to single out women, this phenomenon does tend to play a big role in the female gender. This is not due to some genetic predisposition, instead women considered highly attractive garner more attention, generally from men. By fawning over attractive women men actually do themselves and women a disservice because it gives the woman a narcissistic tendency. Being catered to, having doors opened for them, having jackets thrown over puddles for them, being given expensive gifts or otherwise treating them as though they were a princess makes them feel as though they are a princess while others are their servants.

This is certainly not limited to women though. For a time I lived in a predominantly homosexual neighborhood, my two roommates were gay. I found that the men considered most attractive tended to be complete jerks who treated others with utter disrespect, nonetheless they had no need to treat others with respect because, with their perceived attractiveness, they had no trouble having large groups of people following and catering to them.

Thanks for not telling me off. I can see your point. It sounds strange, but sometimes I get really sad and hopeless when it seems like girls aren’t very nice to me, but I always try to force myself to remember all the girls who were nice. And I also tell myself, “Surely, not all girls are like this.”

women who are attractive get a lot of unwanted and inappropriate attention from guys, and after awhile, i think some of them are just automatically put-offish toward guys in general. of course some people are just naturally arrogant and unpleasant. there will always be those. just continue to be courteous, and professional, and don’t sweat the snotty ones.

I wish I could have said it like that Modron.

Yeah. 99.9% of the time I’m not interested in asking the girl out or saying how hot she is and what not. I wish there was someway to assure them of my good intentions. Also, what if I do genuinely like a girl and she won’t even talk to me?

Well I think for the most part you just wanna be yourself when approaching someone you’re interested in. You certainly don’t want to pretend to be something you’re not, I wouldn’t try to be what you think they want you to be or act how you think they want you to act.

A person can only keep up the facade for so long, what happens when you enter into a relationship with someone on false pretenses only to find out later that the other party is not who you thought they were? The relationship ends and both parties have only completely wasted their time.

You don’t want to trick someone into being interested in you, it only ends up in shambles later on. If someone is not interested in you then so be it.

I believe everyone has something unique to offer, but that doesn’t mean everyone out there is going to be a good fit for that particular brand of uniqueness. I often liken it to food, not everyone likes peanuts, hell some people can die from eating a peanut, but for others peanuts are not only tasty, but also a good source of protein. So too can people be, you have something great to offer to the world, but not everyone is going to be attracted to that something great.

If you’re a peanut, you don’t want to pretend to be a raisin because whoever comes along thinking you’re a raisin might get hurt when they find out you’re a peanut.

Like everyone else you have a place in this world and it can take time to find that place. As they say it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey.

P.S. You’re out there looking for a partner and I’m sure somewhere in this world there’s someone looking for you too. I would suggest you not get hung up over something that’s not going to happen, you don’t want to miss your opportunity to find the perfect fit while you’re busy trying to make a bad fit work.

Often times I find that it is in our pursuit of perfection that we lose it. If only we can realize that we were already perfect just the way we were.

I usually find if you carry a picture or three, and then you show them to a person, or three, you can break the ice and start a conversation, or three.

But in the world of customer service, where sometimes you need to be “fast” this may not be an idea.

Simply put, you just got to smile and forget the transaction if it was bad.

I too [three] deals with some lost people at times. Well one I figured out is just plain several many IQ’s short of being Einstein…that’s why him just not the ripe banana in the bunch. So I ignored him to figure him out. Now I knows why he don’t carry his weight. He’s just not the IQ of Einstein…not by a far way.

But yeah…attached is three pictures…just in case you needs them.

Attachments




Modern women are like that, let’s not forget that. Life is too easy for women, they get everything they want, including our jobs. Before modern times women actually had something to do, they had to raise children, take care of house, etc. Today none of that is required from women and they become lazy.

Many dislike it when anyone (especially cashier) talks to them, unless invited to conversation! I am one of them. Can’t you just keep quiet and do your work (count cash), FFS?!? I love peace. I consider such an intrusion rude and disrespectful, offensive.
To talk to strangers, there’s a bar with a bartender just for such purpose.
… and stop being sexist. See what happens when you talk to guys.

@kbot: Personally I don’t see an IQ test as a viable method of assessing the value of a person. Take, for instance, plankton. Plankton would probably score quite low on an IQ test and based solely upon these test results one might think plankton are quite useless. The truth, however; is quite the contrary, it is rather likely that should the plankton vanish the entire ecosystem would cease to function.

Just because someone has a low IQ does not mean their contribution any more or less integral.

@Krice: Women, like men, have a variety of interests that differ from person to person. Like men some are interested in designing the next space shuttle while others are interested in cooking and cleaning. One task is not more or less important than the other. You have to imagine all those shuttle designers need to eat and probably work with great efficiency when operating in a clean environment, therefore those who cook and clean for them play an integral role in the whole process, just as integral as those directly involved.

What I’m thinking here is that you, personally, are interested in obtaining a mate who enjoys taking care of the home front. People prefer different things and you sir appear to prefer a mate who fills that particular role. Personally I feel that while you may prefer such a person, not all people have that same preference and so it is not that all women need to take care of the home front, but, in so far as you are concerned, the woman who is a good fit for you would be of that particular variety.

@burnin: Some people are more social than others. While it is true that there are those, obviously, who would prefer to quietly get what they need and then go about their business it is also true that there are those who enjoy a little light conversation to accompany their errands.

It’s probably not terribly obvious to a cashier which customer prefers it one way or the other. I would say, though, that it would be nice if you could simply kindly say to someone that you’d prefer not to engage in conversation without worrying about hurting their feelings.

I find absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a little peace and quiet, likewise I find absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a friendly conversation.

And this is where the thread goes downhill. Lasted longer than I though it would! Thanks for the replies.

Just remember that women hate - are physically and biologically repulsed - by supplicant men. This is very understandable from an evolutionary standpoint: a beta male sucking up to women and pleading for her acceptance is obviously a weakling, and thus she wants to desperately avoid mating with him so she does not invest years of her life carrying his weak offspring. However…he is still a man, and is thus physically more powerful than her and therefore a threat to her survival (and her genetic line’s).

This is a big reason why sexual frequency for modern young (white) people has absolutely plummeted: because the media tells men to worship women, and yet women are grossed out by men who do so.

So, to answer your question, the best way to talk to women is to be confident, and unapologetic. Never apologize for your socializing or for having a healthy sex drive. If other people hate strangers and fear sexual expression, that’s their fault, not yours. If you start walking with an erect posture, a bit of confidence in your stride, and stop apologizing, you’ll be amazed at how much more women respond to you.

Here’s an interesting guide (this is specifically about romancing women, but many of the principles apply in all person to person communications): http://heartiste.wordpress.com/the-sixteen-commandments-of-poon/

lol. Here’s a funny girl’s response to a beta male suck-up:


Is it me or are people just really easily offended? Especially in America? It seems like a person can be hated for doing almost nothing.

Well, your assumption & observation is based from traditional prejudice on how other should respond to your act. Release your mind and just embrace the present presence. Beauty of feeling love is in a gentle smile & sparkling eyes.

@henrymop: people often fear what they perceive as their own shortcomings. Different people handle this fear in different ways, pointing the finger at others as a means to distract themselves and others from their own is just one of the many tools in the arsenal of weapons.