My new Short Film : The Pen

Hi everyone, I present to you my new short film (only the first part).
The place is actually my old college in the south of France, and the characters are inspired by my real friends, I took about a year to complete everything. It’s not perfect because I remind you that I am 15 years old, I’m French and I have less time because I’m in high school.
Thank you for your visit and give me plenty of comments that I’m progressing.
And sorry for my English mistakes :slight_smile:

The short film :

That looks good, do you have a tutorial for this?

Awesome…dude, I laughed so hard…great stuff.

I’ll forward to seeing more.

Wow, thank you so much it makes me very happy

Thank you, I do not have a tutorial in particular, it is the experience

How long did it take till you were able to produce an animation like this?

I made this animation for about 1 year, but because of school I was slow, I could go a little faster but it was still very long, there were a lot of characters, it was that they look like my friends because it’s really them. it was very difficult but I love it !

Wow, there is loads of improvement shown from your first animations. You are really progressing - some of the animation is actually very good. And it is very impressive to make such a long and ambitious animation - not many would even attempt it, let alone manage to complete it. And you are already on your 4th short film by the age of 15!

Keep it up - you are doing great. I can’t wait to see what you are able to produce in a few years time.

Thank you very much for your comment, it’s true that it was really long and he was necessary to have a lot of patience but I am more than passionate, I can not do without the animation and I really intend to grow because I love it! Thank you very much it is even more encouraging and energy you give me with your comments, you are great, mercii!

The writing is wonderful - great anarchical slapstick energy, you have a great sense for what’s funny and you do well with the theme of a small incident spiralling into complete chaos. The animation, texturing and render is admittedly rough but the strength of the humour makes it work.

I’d love to see you keep that impish sense of humour but give more time to the technical aspects of your shorts - light and render them with more care, spend time finessing your animation so there’s no distractions, and keep an eye on your film’s pacing. For instance, I found that the scene with the lady in the office dragged on a little bit too long - nothing happened for a long time there, and the pacing of the film felt interrupted in a bad way.

Hope to see more from you soon!

Et moi je suis un peu jaloux que vous n’avez que 15 ans et vous avez as deja fait QUATRE films courts. Je me sens vraiment vieux, soudain… :slight_smile:

First of all thank you for your comment :slight_smile:
It is true I have to improve some details and I make attention to rhythm, it’s true that I love when it’s energetic, but I have to be careful what everyone understands what is happening.
Merci pour ton commentaire il m’a beaucoup aidé et ça m’a fait très plaisir :slight_smile:

Brilliant work, Yannis! I watched “The Pen” video first, and then watched all three other films. Then I watched “The Pen” again! Your work is very fun to watch. Even if some parts are rough, the feeling I get from watching it makes up for any flaws. I understand what you mean when you say you have to be careful that everyone understands what is happening; I think you are doing a good job so far! Keep practicing and improving and one day I am certain you can become a master at your work!

By the way, I liked seeing your mustached police officer showing up throughout your videos. Maybe you can find a way to include him in all your work, it could be a signature of yours!

Oh, I am very pleased thank you very much.
I am preparing a new short and precisely where I check a lot more if the pace is good, if one understands all the sequences and if Iam improving thanks to you thank you. It is true that I love drag wink to my preceding short film. And precisely the policeman with the mustache is in each short film. This is a very good idea, thank you!

Another great short Yannis. I remember seeing your first one and thinking … .damn this kid has got just a raw, but undeniable sense of movie making. I continue to be impressed with your camera work, and have noticed your building suspense with the music your choosing.

I really hope you keep going and keep challenging yourself. Your able to tell good and entertaining stories.

…you will do it big one day… But yeah try to take your time on quality of render and animation. Your shorts live mostly from paste and humour. Those seem to be the most important, but they loose drive when you take away attention from the other factors too much.
I surley know how much time you spent on everything, but exactly thats the point why you shouldn’t rush things or leave animation and rendering on a layout level. It’s a pitty because average people will be alienated by such things quickly. Blender enthusiasts know the worth and appreciate it for what it is. But if you want more than you got to give more. It’s as simple as that. I’m a fan of your work though. Good luck with your future work.

Thanks you very much @harleynut97, it is amazing what you are telling meyou are encouraging me a lot and it makes me really happy, thank you. It is true that for me the camera is very important, I consider it a real character, which shows his emotion through movement. Thank you!I hope I have not done too much mistake :slight_smile:

@Dominic_Maler, Again, thank you for this comment, it is very important to me. I would be careful in rendering quality, there I’m working on a short film based more on emotions, of course, always of humor but this time mixed with larger emotion and better renderingThank you thank you!

That was funny as hell and entertaining. Good work.

Thanks for sharing such a nice post.

Oh thank you very much, it gives me great pleasure, you are amazing!